From: TransGal4872 Subject: Various Date: 24/OCT/2020

Rewrites and the Cringe

I've started rewrites of Book I and Book II of the Multiverse series, and they're worse than I thought. I knew going into this that I never finished writing the stories and was hopscotching around pretty badly, but looking at this now...

I think I can maybe keep a few parts here and there, and I've already committed myself to keeping some of the major plot arcs, but most of what's here I just want to throw in a fire; I'm basically starting from scratch. It's fine though; it's the characters that are important to me, and that helped me hatch, moreso than the story; maybe rewriting it will help me get to a place where I can come out to my family.

Story Format and Website Design

I like the flexibility that not strictly adhearing to a single format has afforded me. By adding elements of the faux-screenplay format that the story was originally written in, such as master scene headings and blocks of character dialoge when several characters are speaking, I can do much more than I could with first person prose or a faux-screenplay alone.

I had been avoiding using the screenplay elements as much as possible, but at the cost of not telling the story as well as it could be told; so I'm not going to do that any longer, and I'm going to overhaul the CSS and my markup conventions to better allow this.

I also need to decide how I want to present each book; if I want to show them as a single webpage, if I want to split them up by volume, or if I want to split them up by chapter. I also need to add navigational buttons to aid in navigation around the interconnected and concurrent timelines that each book covers. Some titles would also be good...

the auto-generated HTML2.0 index pages might get an update and a fresh coat of CSS as well.

Game Development Updates

as for my game, I'm messing around in godot to get the basics implemented faster. the plan is to port/rewrite the thing as a bespoke engine written in C/C++ once I have a major version, to see if it has a smaller memory footprint without sacrificing any speed. if it does, I'll keep both versions up to date.


according to the neocities hit-stats, I have ...some? readers, so any of you feel free to E-mail me or /msg me if you bump into me in a chatroom if you have feedback on anything related to any of my stuff. Like I've posted on the front page, I'll open a Fediverse account once I get some IRL stuff sorted (like coming out), and I'll open an IRC chatroom when I get to a headspace where I feel like I can open up to new people again without constantly worrying about being hurt.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Book 3 Rewrites Date: 27/OCT/2020

In Book 3, I'm going to be moveing things around a bit to make them fit with the parts of the timeline that I've worked out;
Nothing before the work-in-progress warning should be affected too much, but I'll have to see how things fit.

Everything that has been removed from the Book 3 story after that is up in the air right now. I'll probably still use most of it, but I doubt that it will happen at that point in the story.

There are a few things in all of the stories that will need to be ironed out now that I'm starting to get a good picture of how the new timeline is going to work; the forshadowing must be precise or it could derail hooks that aren't visited for the span of an entire book, or several books.

I've also got enough written of Book I that I'll start posting updates of it soon, but there are some sharp edges that I need to try and dull first: One of the scenes I re-wrote was a major gut-punch; I can't really get into any details without spoilers, but the scene totally destroys the previous impression that had been given of one of the characters.

but right now it's a quarter past one, and I need to finish what I'm doing so that I can go to bed.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Book I, II, delays Date: 31/OCT/2020

I've got to work out how I want to rework a few more things in Book I before I post it; as I said above, if I get something wrong, it will throw off everything that follows.

I also don't want to start work on the body of Book II yet; it might actually be easier since the whole thing is dark and edgy instead of having gut punches that sneak up on you, but I still don't feel like doing that right now.

I made some small changes in Book 3; some of the wording wasn't sitting well with me. I'm also trying a different format for screenplay sections.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Book I posted; mind the edge Date: 04/NOV/2020

I've posted what I have ready in Book 1 so far;
I always remember Book II being the darker-and-edgier one (after you get past the part that's dark and mysterious), and while that is certainly true, Book 1 has some really gut-punchingly poignant scenes. the difference is that the original Book 1 juxtaposes these scenes with some humor and pop-culture references.

I havn't written many of the humor scenes yet, but did write some of the most emotional scenes first; I felt the need to add a content warning to one of them just for the emotional shock value, even out of it's context.

I want to tell anyone reading that I originally wrote this book at the end of a dark chapter of my life as a means of emotional release; and while I have had some shitty stuff happen to me, the stuff that happens in this book is fiction. the events of the story are not related to the events that lead to the story's creation

From: TransGal4872 Subject: More rewrites, unexpected programming stuff Date: 17/NOV/2020

Updated my Linux laptop today. did an upgrade-in-place to a new major version, so we'll see how it goes.


I've been thinking about compleatly rewriting some of the story arcs of the original multiverse story that don't sit well with me anymore. It would be difficult to do, because it was one of the more fleshed-out parts of the unfinished original, and was full of plot hooks, but I think it will be worth it.

And now, for something compleatly different...

Godot is an okay programming IDE, but it could be sooooooo much better if it supported things like singletons, multiple-inheritance, global state, and goto. while the benifits of singletons and multiple inheritance should be obvious to modern programmers, things like global variables and goto may evoke an undeserved cringe to people who havn't worked in modern(ish) high-level languages side-by-side with `ancient´ high level languages like BASIC or SNOBOL-4, and low-level assembly. I'm self-taught, from old and new books, and this experiance gives me a "unique" approch to programs.

goto does create "spaghetti code"
but so do function calls; you have to look for the function definition.
everyone probably knows that goto can be used to break a nested loop in C. that's my most common usage of it, but I try and use goto every time I break a loop early. another time I use it is when I have a retry-on-fail condition; either to exit the loop, or if I'm not concerned about a situation where the program will get stuck, to actually implement the loop
but, in some cases, it can also be used when you don't want to return after a subroutine; instead, you goto somewhere else. this creates a finite-state automata.
I've been told Ad Infinum that this can be done with a loop and a dispatch table; but I still prefer goto (even though I lovelovelove dispatch tables). the only real argument for stacks instead of goto is that stacks are easier to debug; however, if your program might encounter the halting problem, I recommend goto rather than the possibility that the user will overflow the stack. a good debugger will spit out line numbers in single-step mode, and that's all you need if you are familliar enough with your source to be the one that's debugging it.

I also think Global State gets a bad rap. If you are doing things where changing the global state at random could cause problems, you're doing mutexes wrong.
I would much prefer if every access was atomic, meaning that it cannot be pre-empted by the scheduler; it is treated as if it were a single CISC instruction. but that's why you implement a mutex.

You don't keep everything in global state either; only stuff that is relevant accross the entire program.
I like to organize the data into a little filesystem using namespaces or dictionaries when I can. In C, I use structs and arrays as the directories and allocate new entries with malloc(); if I'm using C++, I can use namespaces instead of structs, and replace fixed-sized arrays with things like maps and stacks.

And for the love of everything, don't ever declare a global variable static! it doesn't mean what you think it means.
(Unless you know already know what it means. then good for you.) In my experiance, in a sane C compiler, you declare a global variable outside of any blocks, scopes, or functions, and with no keywords (or as auto), in the file that contains main() or in a subfile (I'll explain what I mean by that next). you also write a header that declares the same variable as extern and include that first; standard practice for any general-use header is to use the preprocessor's macro functionality to ensure it is only included once like so:


  // your bindings go here

if you declare your variables static, anything linking to your main object will not see them. this is because static doesn't do what you may think it should do, for historical reasons.

The way I program, I use several different types of files for C programming:

the extensions listed are not currently the ones I'm currently using, but I will fix that next commit.

I'm still looking at git hosting websites; I'll probably move to Gitlab. once I do, I'll discontinue updates to my Github account. I don't know that I will update my username on github or in the git history; I might, but it seems like a lot of unneccesary work today. If I have a day where it hits me wrong, I might.

Edited due to missing </> tags and missing information

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Gamelore! Date: 22/NOV/2020

I've posted the first two documents of what is hopefully the final revision of my game's lore!

I'm still not that much closer to getting the game working though. Godot doesn't support the paradigms of programming I use, and when something stops being fun, I tend to wander off to something else. Programming in Godot feels like work, even though I'm getting more done faster. Programming in C++ feels fun, even though I'm spending all my time re-inventing the wheel.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Happy Thanksgiving! More Gamelore, New scene added to book 1, book II status update Date: 26/NOV/2020

Happy Thanksgiving!

I still like Thanksgiving, even if it's terrible when you deconstruct the origins of it. That might change once I come out, but for now it's one of the things that make the world a little less awful.

I've added a little more information about the game's world and it's inhabitants; Worldbuilding is really fun and sometimes I get so busy with worldbuilding I forget to write the actual story...

I added a new scene to Book 1; I'll also start using green arrows to highlight the new additions to stories. The replacement plotline mentioned on the frontpage's CW section isn't going well, but I don't want to use the old plotline. I'm running into more and more sections of Book 1 that can't be reformatted to first-person, such as the scene I just added, and I hope that the constant switching back-and-forth between formats isn't too distracting. I really do think it will make a better story in the long run.

I've decided that most of Book II needs to be written from scratch instead of being based on the original story. There are things that don't line up with the new lore and timeline I've established, and then there's Book 3, which is new and compleatly different from the assorted more-unfinished-than-usual fragments of the story that was supposed to follow Book II, and I need to connect them up. those fragments will probably be used eventually, I just need to figure out where and how.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: 24 hour writing spree Date: 29/NOV/2020

Sometimes I can't write at all, and other times, well...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Revision-induced Plotholes Date: 6/DEC/2020

I'm starting to get to the point where either I've changed things too much, or I've uncovered some serious issues with the pacing of the (eternally unfinished) original book 1.

One of the minor things I changed was that the penultimate confrontation between Nemesis and the High Priest (who killed her parents) was supposed to take place at Herschel Crator, on Mimas, with the Rings of Saturn rising up vertically from the horizon. Moving it to Olympus Mons made more sense for... reasons— I'll find a place to put Saturn back in later.

so far I've been able to fix the pacing and plothole problems that crop up by altering the dialogue, but I may need to renumber/reorder a few chapters and volumes, and will almost certainly be splitting off a book 11/2 after the point that was originally supposed to be the end of the first book.

[Edited: Clumbsy Wording]

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Found my zone; things are coming together. Date: 10 11/DEC/2020

I've got the changes I need to make all planned out; I think I know the vague outline of where I'm going through at least the 5th installment; which means that I will have surpassed the amount of unreleased content from 2017-2018 that I've been basing this on once I get through all of it (in fact, I probably already have in terms of word count, since the original used screenplay format exclusively, without any first-person. but running a word count on HTML, or RTF for that matter, is a bit tricky...).

New stuff this upload:

The stuff I've written in this upload should be a bit lighter in tone than what I have been writing, and hopefully I can keep it that way. I didn't feel that any CWs were neccissary for it at least.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: More of Nim's backstory Date: 11/DEC/2020

One more scene added to Nemesis' backstory, and some more revisions; unlike the scenes I posted last night (this morning?), there are some CWs on this one, so be warned. I really need to get around to re-numbering some stuff eventually, and I also need to get back to doing my programming projects, but I'll keep writing while the iron's hot for now.

Even though I don't really identify with her character as much as I used to, she was one of the easiest to find again. After I had stopped writing the original series, I did a cyberpunk spinoff with her and a few of the other characters, but that never went anywhere

I'll still definatly want to explore Transhumanism alongside Transgender themes and other themes of identity. Despite the superficial similarity between the two, there's a lot of difference* as well. They do both, however, require that people not make an equivocation between [a person and the body they're stuck with], and that's why I want to examine both in the same story.

Edit Date: 11/DEC/2020

Part of what I wrote above didn't sit well with me the more I thought about it. My poor proofreading skills have been resulting in a lot of self-triggering here lately...

it's perfectly valid to have certain physical aspects as part of your identity; "Transition Goals", for those who are lucky enough to be able to transition, could be an example of that.

It's never okay to make assumptions about aspects of somone else's identity based on how they look.

Sometimes, language can suck. Without the right vocabulary to describe something, you can't learn more about it or discuss it efficiantly, and as far as I know, there isn't a fixed vocabulary for a lot of the stuff relevant to Trans stuff, because if you aren't Trans, you don't even notice these things exist. Then, you try to approximate what you mean with other words and end up saying something compleatly different from what you meant. Anyway, I reworded the parts I did't like.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Game Synopsis (Sleep schedual? whats that?) Date: 12 13/DEC/2020

I uploaded a synopsis for my game;
I also re-read everything in the multiverse series and changed some stuff.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: More Late Night Additions Date: 02:00 15/DEC/2020

I've been uploading some stuff over the past few days, so here's what's been changed (iirc):

Edited: 15/DEC/2020

I added a small interveaning scene in Book 3 as well; I don't know if I'm going to focus more on that point later, but the resolution does need to be fairly quick, otherwise it'll end up being a big thing and that shouldn't happen.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: By the clicking of my fingers and thumbs... Date: 17/DEC/2020

I've finally decided to tackle one of the two scenes I've been dreading— in the original story, there's a sequence of events that leads to Nemesis going back to her homeworld, whereupon she and the rest of the cast are promptly captured by La Resistance and convinced to help overthrow the Ultracapitalist puppet regime that the Cosmic Big Bad has there. I'm not going into any more detail than that (spoilers), but the way that I'm rewriting it is going to explore some of the bloody consequenses of mixing Groupthink and Stereotyping with a Revolution.

I've also made some minor changes to Book 3.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Holiday Update Date: 24/DEC/2020 Edited: 24/DEC Midnight 25/DEC/2020

My Grandma used to say that if I stayed up too late, Santa wouldn't come; but I doubt he's going to bring me a new body, so meh/sarc

Added an epilogue to Book 4 that answers a lot of the questions for the first part of Nemesis' myth arc, and reveals the identity of the Big Bad who nobody in-story wants to name explicitly; at least, for anybody that knows enough about obscure Greek Mythology.

This is one of the scenes I've been wanting to write for a long time, and didn't know how to approach. it should provide enough new questions to keep that myth arc, and myth arcs from the game (I really need to get working on that again...) running for another few books, while allowing some other myth arcs to start as well.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Book 4 Epilougue Edits Date: 29/DEC/2020

I've been messing with the Book 4 Epilouge a bit. There's quite a bit of stuff that needs to be solidly wrapped up, and more hooks that need to be dangled, and I need to get it juuust right.

I'm also working on a scene for Book 1 that expains some of the basics for the magic system; once I get it polished, I'll post it too.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Misc Date: 30/DEC/2020
From: TransGal4872 Subject: The Dark Day Date: 06/Jan/2021

The events that have happened today are an abomination to all that is right and just. The double-standard exposed, that right-wing pro-facist forces, directed by a racist strongman, were able to take the capitol building, when police consistantly respond to peacful left-wing demonstrations with bloody amounts of force and bloodshed, is just another example of how corrupt the country has become. Especially considering that the racist strongman in question is the president.

The lesson of today: the only law in this country is the status quo. if you support it, you can do anything. If you oppose it, you are already dead.

Maybe the next administration will be better; I highly doubt it.

Now, for something compleatly different.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Postponed Update Date: 12/Jan/2021

I've finally gotten around doing the first illustration; At the end of Book II, I drew a picture of the greater scope Antagainist and messed with it a bit in Krita. I've also added a new section to Book 1.

In light of the current civil unrest, I'm holding back updates to Book 4 until at least February; I don't want them to be associated with the shitshow that's going on right now.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Update Date: 29/JAN/2021

Dawn of
A New Day

It's been awhile since my last update, so I might not remember everything I've changed, but I'll try.

CW: USpol

When people seek to violently disrupt an election and install a xenophobic dictator, they are not heros. Their deeds are not worth celebrating. It is a shameful act by small-minded people who are drunk on the kool-aid.

I'm not going to condemn violent insurrection in all circumstances; Only a Sith deals in absolutes. If Trump had been installed as a dictator with powers unrestrained by even the shambling remains of the Constitution that are still enforced, such a circumstance would almost certainly be amoungst those where a revolution would be acceptable or even neccissary. But those who sought to bring that about failed, thus the need for drastic action to undo their actions does not exist, and discussion of such is purely speculative.

I think that We, the People, need to continue to peacfully make our voices heard until we achieve out goals. Biden has said several times that he wants to continue the "conversation"; it is up to us to make sure that the conversation covers the issues important to us. Racial and Gender equality, better police training, universal basic income and healthcare, IP law reform, tighter corprate regulations, and transitioning from artificial scarcity to post-scarcity. To include Transgender and Non-binary identifying people as a protected class, reduce gatekeeping on identitification documents, and to make informed consent transition avalible everywhere.
And finally, to stop ignoring Human Rights violations, both in the US and abroad. Starting by closing all Government Rendition sites permenantly, by making "Conversion Therapy" clinics illegal, and trying anyone connected to either for violations of the United Nations Convention against Torture.

I also want to take a moment to address the Gamestop stock thing, and say that institutional mechinisms that protect large corperations at the expense of the individual, and which give those who have vast amounts of money more means with which to aquire more of it than those who have less money, are precisely the sort of burgoise self-reinforcing feedback mechinisms that need to be eliminated in order to start closing the wealth gap.

The stock market enables the Burgoisie and the Government to move wealth around between the wealthy without giving any to the poor; This boosts the GDP and raises inflation, while widening the gap, reinforcing social classes, and producing no useful input to the economy. Until this can no longer be accomplished, capitalism will remain the path of least resistance to those who, by design, hold all the power.

Arguments in support of capitalism and against communism always boil down to stating that capitalism is the best because it is the most capitalist, and communism is insane because it is not capitalism, then proceed to invent a lot of math with no real objective basis in reality to "proove" their point. This kind of occurance is a great first step twords cutting these arguments off at the knees.

I think what happened with Gamestop has been a long time coming, but that doing it with just one stock is thinking too small.

Flame, CW: Discussion of Identity Death, Discussion of Nonpermenance of Self

I believe that, in addition to a person's Identity, which is who they are, that many people have Personal Goals that define who they want to be. These could be physical traits that would bring them closer to their identity, or personality traits that stand in opposition of their Jungian Shadow.

The latter is what I am discussing here.

I don't think that the Self-Actualization of these traits is considered Identity Death, or Suicide, even though it requires overwriting the traits that they collide with. I have personal resons, in reaction to my Father and the polotics of my area, for believing this, and I do not expect anyone who is self-confident and comfortable with the kind of person they are to understand my point of view.

I think that a person's right to self-determination extends even to aspects at the very core of their self. I'm also acutely aware that nobody exists in a vaccume, and that other people will always tell you who you should be. And this is where things get sticky.

Intent is not required to Brainwash somone. If they hear something enough, there's a chance that it will stick. Once these beliefs have been internalized, it is not mearly difficult to distinguish between them and a person's honest beliefs; it is Impossible.

Once something has been internalized, then by definition, it is what the person believes. Getting them to reject it leads you back to the original problem of people's beliefs being influenced by others; and much more directly, at that.

This effect is called Groupthink. Weaponized Groupthink is a tool commonly used by Doomsday Cults, Juntas, and Political Parties, to keep the intrests of a central Dictator or Oligarchy placed ahead of those of the whole. This is done by carefully curating the culture that the population experiances, to be an Echo Chamber for these beliefs— the Fox News cabal is a prime example of this. Without proper oversight, either through ineptitude or because of ultirior motives, Automated Content Selection Algorithems can, and do, cause the same result, once they are "cracked".

Safe Spaces have been called Echo Chambers by some ...lets try to stay civil, and call them "critics", but there is a distinct difference. A Safe space is somewhere that you won't be attacked for existing by fringe crusaders, who are out to fight what they see as a holy war. An echo chamber is exactly that— a chamber of echos. An echo chamber demands absolute conformity, whereas a safe space is a place where a community can grow. People can be themselves, or, in some cases, find themselves for the first time.

I don't know if what I'm trying to describe will enter, or is already part, of the modern Social Media lexicon, but Philosiphers have acknowladged since ancient times that the notion of an unchanging, crystaline Self is only due to the limits of self perception. As you grow and learn new things, what is considered the Self is changed gradually, like the Ship of Theseus.

So who do you want to be Tomorrow?

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Update and Fediverse Date: 3/FEB/2021

I've finally started a fediverse page. I'll still make posts here, I'm not sure how I want to use each yet.

- Added a section to Book V

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Absence Date: 20/FEB/2021

I want to start by apologizing for not posting as frequently. I havn't been finding as much drive to write (considering what I've been writing, this might be a good thing), so my website has fallen behind.

I do have a few things I want to post as soon as I finish editing them and marking them up, but for now I'm putting my main story on Hiatus. I might write a few short stories, I might start another novel, I might go back to the sci-fi story, or I might try to get some programming done (Though my most recent attempt at that ended before it started); in any case, I'll try not to take 2 years to return to it this time.

From: TransGal4872 Subject: Debunking the Canard of Capitalism Date: 22/FEB/2021

The problem has never been how the many act. The problem has always been how the people who control the most power act. The Bourgeoisie with the means of production, the Aristocracy with the armies, The 1% with all the money...

they are all just specific cases of the same general problem: A small group of people abuse some exploit to install themselves as the ruling class, and then change the rules to keep themselves there, and silence anyone who poses a serious threat to their dominance.

A perfect example can be found by looking at the study of economics and how it evaluates communism. Communism is always evaluated poorly based on capitalist metrics, but why are these capitalist metrics justified? Often times, the answers you will get will be down the lines of "it's how it is" or "that's how people behave".

The first of which, you will notice, is an ontology, bordering on begging the question. The second assertation is only valid if two parties have an equal latitude of choice, and this can be easily demonstrated to be false;

The fact that groundwork assertation of "laissez-faire" capitalism resulting in a fair game can be disprooven so laughably easily makes you wonder just what they make their kool-aid out of. It's a perfect example of 2 + 2 = 5 in practice.

Something else to consider is that when a True-Believer Capitalist says that something is human nature, it can also be because they selectively exclude anyone who doesn't subscribe to the Capitalist False-Conciousness from their internal definition of "Human", using excuses like Statistics when forced to interact with them. Which, when you think about it, says a lot about what kind of person you have to be to both understand and believe in capitalism: the kind of person who thinks that Altruists, Communists, and Neurodivergent aren't humans.


Here's a post I made on Fedi that I wanted to archive here as well, regarding whether people's livelyhood should always be connected to labor:

A lot of people forget that Marx’s guideline “To each according to their contribution,” where everyone must work, is meant to be a stepping stone to another, even more idealized world, based around the philosophy:

From each according to their ability, To each according to their need

This is implemented once the world reaches post-scarcity, a state where supply drastically exceeds demand. such a state is avoided at all costs by a Capitalist society, because it would cause a market collapse, or more transparently, the bourgeoisie would no longer have means with which to control the proletariat other than outright violence, because the factors that enforce the false consciousness will have collapsed.

Lots of people believe that once post-scarcity is achieved, the human race will succumb to a mythical event called the Malthusian catastrophe; a point at which food cannot be grown fast enough to sustain the growing human population. But, the Malthusian Catastrophe was based on numerous problematic assumptions; I’ll correct them now:

Of course, none of this means shit if fossil fuel cartels succeed in destroying the planet before we can erode the deceptively delicate feedback loops that keep Capitalism afloat.